We never know what surprises are round the
corner and a couple of weeks ago I was told by the organisation I worked for,
that they had completely run out of money, and my position was untenable. It was a mighty ‘right hook’ and totally pulled
the rug under my feet. Now the reality is I disliked my job, the commute and
the salary, but that does not warrant the lack of warning I received, and in
turn the lack of security I now have. I mean I only have four kids and a fat mortgage
to worry about!
So the issue here is what am I going to do
about it? Right now, I haven’t got a fucking clue, but tomorrow I probably
will. I have the best part of 3 weeks to turn this around and if I don’t find a
descent job, I will turn my hand to painting and decorating which has always got
me out of a pickle in the past.
This is a universal dilemma when we receive
bad news. It doesn’t matter if you have; split from a loved one, developed a
critical illness or lost a job. There are only two responses possible and
either your glass is half full or it’s half empty. Or put another way, you
either rise to the challenge and remain positive or fall into being a victim.
The reality is that most of us find ourselves somewhere between the two, which
is where I find myself right now. Slightly of the schizophrenic variety, where
one moment I am in middle of a mid-life opportunity and the sun is shining or get
me an hour later and I am firmly having a mid life crisis and have reverted to a
puddle on the floor!
I don’t need to go into detail of my
strategy (unless someone out there has a cracking job for me :), but what I
know is that not drinking has played a fundamental part in which of the two
camps I spend the majority of my time. It would be much easier for me to go
home tonight and crack open a beer, run for the hills and escape from the
realities I am dealing with. Choosing not to enables me to go home and face the music, which in a nutshell is one of feeling incredibly vulnerable and
insecure.
If life is a lesson in itself, then feeling
into that pain is where I am going to find the treasure and although easier
said than done there is an old adage that states ‘out of chaos, magic happens!‘
– I just wish it would hurry up J
Jono,
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the blog, and on going dry. I've thought about it...